Small talk is for small people

It has been a lot of fun lately listening to you learn new words and sounds each day. You are really picking them up fast and you'll be talking before I know it. It's amazing really.

It's also amazing how long you can talk to someone and never really talk to them.

While most men will discuss an endless list of weather, sports, movies, food, women, petty complaints, ect: Will you dare to be a man who isn't afraid of the important issues? People's hearts, dreams and core beliefs are an infinitely more interesting topic.

Banter has it's place, and you can learn from it at times. But don't let your words stop there. You may get some funny looks at first, because Americans aren't use to talking about real things. But just wait, the awkwardness turns to authenticity. The hesitancy turns to openess.

Ask more questions than you answer, listen more than you speak, and invest yourself into the conversation. And don't be afraid to say what you mean. This will lead to true friendships, real relationships, and a much richer life.

I would guess that a lot of fathers and sons struggle with getting past the small talk. Let's make it a point to really, truly talk to each other.

Lift their heads

People seem to live up to expectations, or conversely, live down to expectations.

What I mean by this is that if someone hears their entire life that they are great at something, they work hard at that thing to really be great.

However, if someone is told their whole life that they aren't worth much, that they'll never amount to anything, that even if they try, it's no use; well then, they have a very good chance of letting that sink into them and dictate the course of life. You can see this with both individuals and whole people groups who are told they aren't worth as much as their fellow man. It's hard to get that message out of your head.

The reason I bring this up is to let you know that your words will have power, and that you can use them to build people up, or tear them down. Think of the impact you can have on somebody's life if you look them in the eyes and tell them they are worth more than they know.

Look for opportunities to do this. Be a friend to the friendless, a encourager to the discouraged. Don't live your life grasping for someone's hand more powerful than you. Live your life reaching down to pull others up.

A Man's Honor

I was recently told of a fellow golfer who is quite skilled, but is known to be a cheater. He'll nudge things back inbounds, he won't count all of his strokes, he'll do what he has to in order to win. And because of this, he is talked about behind his back. He is laughed at and scoffed.

I want you to know that it is far more important to keep your honor among men than it is to beat them at a game. If men can trust you they will respect you. Your word is a most valuable thing.

If you are anything like your mother and I, you'll have a competitive edge to your personality. I'm sure we'll play many games together over the years, and there will be part of you that wants so desperately to win that you will think about lying, sneaking, cheating. I recommend you don't do it. The win will never feel good to you if you know you went about it the wrong way. It will feel cheap, and it will be cheap.

And don't be fooled into thinking winning is everything. Yes, I want you to try your hardest, to give your best. But I want it to be your honest best.

He Will Laugh

Names come with meanings. Isaac means "He will Laugh", or "Laughter".

You have been laughing a lot lately. It's wonderful. Your whole face lights up and your baby laugh fills the room. Sometimes it's just a glance from your mother that sets it off. Sometimes it's being tossed in the air. It brings a new joy to me each time, and your mother and I can't help but laugh along.

I hope that you can keep a spirit of laughter throughout your life.

Laugh at yourself. A man who can laugh at himself is stronger than a man who can't. Don't take yourself too seriously.

Laugh with others. Not at their expense, but rather alongside them. Share chuckles, chortles, and belly laughs.

Laugh at the good things. Too often men laugh about things that are dirty, vulgar, or mean-spirited. This isn't true laughter, this is a cheap substitute.

I pray that your life is full of smiles. I pray that you and I can share many laughs over the years. We're off to a good start.

1st Month

Dec. 23rd you came into the world. People kept telling me that things change when you become a parent, and that they can't describe it, that I just have to experience it. Well, I am experiencing it now, and it has opened up a new chamber in my heart.

But there are many people you've brought joy to. You have an incredible amount of love and support around your life. Grandparents that can't get enough of you. Aunts that won't set you down if you are in sight. Great-Grandparents that delight in your youth and newness. And a Great-Great Grandpa who never thought he would see this day. (I will talk more of your lineage in a later post. Just know that you have a large and deep support net around you.)

We brought you home from the hospital on Christmas day, with snow flurries in the air. You are a good and precious gift. The best I have received. And you continue to give me good gifts son. As I sit up with you at night, or hold you when I return home from work, you bring joy and peace. I sometimes just laugh out loud as I hold you and you make faces, or as you stretch and move while waking up. You have recently begun to smile, and there is no greater source of goodness in my world.

Your mother has been amazing with you. Never before have I seen such determination, love, and strength from her. Not only in the long labor that brought you into this world, but in the long nights and the feedings and the way she is sacrificing her own strength to give you yours. I am so proud of her.

We often forget what our mothers went through by the time we're old enough to show them how much we appreciate it. And although you too will forget these precious first months of life, I pray that you hold on to the love and appreciation you have for your mother right now. That you respect her, protect her, and give back just a little of the great love she has for you.

This post has been long overdue, I suppose we've had our hands full this first month of your life, but just know that we love you. We love you now, and always. You'll often look up into our eyes, and hold our gaze, and I can't help but think that for tiny moments we connect, and you understand, and we get each other. Fatherhood is large, but my heart has grown larger for it.

Soon I will get to meet you face to face for the first time. Your mother has been experiencing the early stages of labor the last couple of days, and both of us are very excited that we will soon, finally, hold you in our arms.

I'm realizing that God made pregnancy a 9 month growth process because there is a growing process that needs to take place in the parents as well.

There will be a small number of large moments in your life, where the depth of your manhood will be tested. I find myself at one of those large moments, about to be a father for the first time. To be honest, I'm a little scared. But I suppose most of the big moments in a man's life are a little scary.

I ask God daily for strength, that I may be a good father for you. A father who loves faithfully, provides fully, and disciples honestly. There will be times when I fall short of this goal, and I will need to ask you for forgiveness. I will be learning some things along with you.

So yes, I'm a little scared. But I'm a lot excited.

See you soon.

An important decision

As you grow into a man, you'll have a choice to make:
Will you be a Predator or a Protector?

A Predator seeks to fulfill his own selfish wants. He fills his belly with the meat of those weaker than he is. He builds himself up by tearing others down. A Predator's eyes greedily roam.

A Protector seeks to build others up. He uses his strengths to help those who are weaker. He stands for truth, honor, integrity, and is brave when others cower. A Protector forsakes his own comfort or desires for the good of others.

How do you want to be known by others?
When women speak of you, what will they say?
When younger men look up to you, will they do so with fear or with respect?
When the Lord looks at your heart, what will he know you to be?

You will find that I revisit this choice throughout our conversations, and in more detail; but for now, know that I hope you will be a Protector. The world has more than enough Predators already.